FEELS LIKE THE FIRST TIME by Scott Hildreth

Author:Scott Hildreth [Hildreth, Scott]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2017-12-15T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter 15

SHANE. In my experiences with life I had often searched for something or someone to satisfy a void. When I did, I often settle for something substandard or second rate. I did so because I felt I must fill an opening. When I did not look or attempt to resolve a particular deficiency, I often stumbled onto what it is that I actually needed. Life tends to provide us with our most valuable assets when we least expect it or while we’re not even particularly looking.

In life, we need to pay the closest attention when we aren’t paying attention at all.

Life has a way of sneaking up on us.

This, in itself, was why I paid attention to all of the little details.

Because I didn’t like surprises.

“So, you think you’re going to be alright, babe?” I asked as we turned the corner into the residential neighborhood.

“I think so, as long as you’re close by. You make me feel really comfortable. I don’t get excited anymore around you,” she giggled.

“Nervous?” I asked.

“Duh,” she sighed.

“How long?” I asked.

“I don’t know for sure, I think it’s been ten years. I’m not really sure. I don’t remember. It’s been a long time. Since before I graduated high school if I remember right,” she said.

No different than I, Kace didn’t remember a tremendous amount of her childhood. Her memories - or lack of memories - lasted into her teens. I suppose her problems lasted longer as well. I didn’t remember my childhood because I was moved around and my father was gone. She didn’t remember because she had events or circumstances her mind chose to set aside.

Coming from the background she came from, it was no surprise to see her mind set aside memories associated with abuse. One funny thing about the human mind was that it would often set aside a period of time – maybe even a few years – to get rid of a few memories or particular events.

Kace hadn’t initially told me, but eventually she admitted her father had abused her mother physically. Her mother finally left her father after many years of being beaten. Kace, at the time, was about twelve years old. Being exposed to this type of abuse generally made the children either totally opposed to abuse or an abuser themselves. It seemed to depend on the person and how their mind processed it.

“By the GPS, we’re just a few blocks, you sure you’re alright?” I asked.

“My stomach feels funny. But you can’t fix it. Just go, I’ll be fine,” she responded.

I was glad we decided to come see her mother at this point in time, long before the holidays. It might allow Kace to make the adjustments needed, possibly allowing her to see her family during the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays.

“Well, here we are, house number 648,” I said as we pulled up to the front of the home.

She swallowed heavily.

“You alright?” I asked.

“Yeah,” she sounded like she had a frog in her throat.

“Babe, any time you’re ready to go just tell me so.

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